Why I'm The Biggest Retard On Earth

Because Kin of Kin's Kouch, is a guy not a girl. My site has been properly amended and I'm preparing the noose in the garage for this horrendous error.

I'll update you all on last night next week. I'm so very, very tired.

Welcome to the Family

I'll like to make mention of some new additions to the family of links.

First, please be nice to Kin of Kin's Kouch. He's one of the good guys in the world and I love to check in on him to see what's going on in the world of the "someone who should know better". Go say hi to him if you get the chance.

Also, Megan of Page Three joins us. She's got me in her "Blog of the Week" section and she's a sweetheart for doing it. I love to check in on her to see what's going on in her "thoughts on religion, reading, politics and teaching." Please drop in on her if you get the chance.

And, finally, one of those YPR goofballs has started a new blog. So every go visit Senor Wences and check out the "misadventures of a man with a sombrero, purchased for $3 at the U.S./Mexico border, on the way back from a bender in Encenada, MX." Geoff is pretty clever and he keeps asking if he can see my tattoos. No, Geoff, you can't.

The Cup Runneth Over

I got a call last night. This guy that I knew in college and that I see from time to time and speak to fairly frequently called me up and it started out fairly innocuously. But before I knew it, I was agreeing to go out and meet him for a drink. I went out and we had fun and laughed like we always do. And I had a little more to drink than I probably should have and like I always do, got a little more flirtatious than I probably should have, and we ended up doing a little bit of kissin'.

Now I have a few problems and you should probably know a little bit of backgorund information.

1) I have had a crush on this guy FOREVER. We met when I was a freshman in college. This is a classic Lisa story. I coming back to my room in the dorms from the shower. He was in my room saying hello to my roommate who had a class with him. I walked into the room and, without looking, started talking about how I'd forgotten to bring a "feminine hygiene product" into the bathroom with me and I started rummaging around the room for the item. I heard some giggling behind me and I turned around and he said, "I think they're on your desk." I turned about 7 shades of red.

2) When I'm single, he's got a girlfriend. When he's single, I've got a boyfriend. We've just never been able to make it happen, so we've always just been friends.

Now I feel really bad for a couple of reasons, not the least of which is that I started dating a really great guy about 3 weeks ago and he's smart and sweet and cute and funny. I really like him a lot. I don't want to hurt him or mislead him. I guess that makes question one, do I tell him? And I guess that begs question two, which would be how much do I tell him?

I've known the other guy a lot longer and I've had a huge crush on him for god knows how long. Question three becomes: Do I owe it to myself to find out if there's something between us?

And should I pursue one at the expense of the other? Or pursue them both at the same time without telling one about the other? That seems a little too much like a bad episode of Three's Company. Plus, I'm a horrible liar.

Can someone email me here and give me some advice before my head explodes?

Inner Monologue From This Morning's Subway Ride

Note to the construction guys at my stop on the 4 train: The whistling thing, not working. Although I enjoy the occasional "mamacita," there's no way in hell your whistling is going to make me turn around and offer myself up to you. It's not that you're filthy, lewd, disgusting, sweaty, muscular, well-built ... hmm. So, you're in construction, huh?

Well, the results are in folks and the winner of the "Worst Trailer of 2003" goes to My Boss's Daughter, starring Ashton Kutcher and Tara Reid. When you combine the acting talents of these two professionals and add in the zany storyline of a guy looking to get promoted housesitting for the boss and losing his prized bird, how can this not be a winner? Honorable mention for Gigli, which appears as though it might be the biggest flop since Waterworld.

I would like, just once, not to be solicted on the subway. I'm usually very easy going about this, but all I ask for is one train ride where I'm not serenaded by three men, not asked to buy candy for a church/school basketball team, not given a speech by someone telling me that they are just looking to get back on their feet, not offered batteries for a dollar. Just one. I'm on the subway for 15 minutes. I just want one ride.

I caught Amelie last night and I have to say that this movie was even more wonderful the second time around. If you have not seen Amelie, please try to catch it. Audrey Tautou, who plays the lead, is absolutely spellbinding as the young woman who goes around doing good deeds to enrich the lives of the people who touch her life. If you have an aversion to foreign films, cast aside your fears. This is a very lighthearted movie and you will laugh out loud, I promise.

I caught a glimpse of the new male fashions of this season from Hugo Boss on TV. I'd like you to find me the American male who's going to wear a skin-tight, black shirt that exposes (via a hole) their left nipple. I've had my fair share of experience with American men, including the one that I'm seeing now, and I can tell you that the chances of this trend catching on anywhere but Greenwich Village are about the same as Osama Bin Laden winning B'nai Brith's "Man of the Year" award. Who on Earth are they marketing this product to?

I have to give credit where credit is due, NBC's "For Love Or Money" was not a bad show. It had some interesting switcheroo plot twists and a pretty decent shock ending for the contestant. However, Erin, you are a moron. You know how easy it was to outsmart the idiot guy who stepped up for this challenge. What makes you think you'll be able to outsmart all these guy? Granted, they are men but 1 out of 15 should be shrewd enough to screw you like you screwed Rob. I know you are looking for fame, not money but if you want some more advice I'm sure Evan from Joe Millionaire would be happy to call you and give you some.

Did I just say the word "switcheroo?"